My son is doing well in basketball, but generally speaking, basketball is the most competitive of the High School sports. It's the hardest team to make. They have fewer spots, and the kids are more competitive, early.
My son is energetic and athletic, and I can't imagine that he'd ever sit out the Winter sports season. So, if for some reason he doesn't make the basketball team in High School, he's got a couple of options. One would be swimming, which he shows some talent in. The other would be wrestling.
Wrestling is, in my opinion, the most under-rated of High School sports. You generally don't have to survive a cut to make the team, which automatically puts it in the bottom half of sports, prestiege-wise. Sports like baseball and basketball, where you have to be darned good just to make the team, always had a bit of an edge over sports like track and wrestling, where for the most part, if you want to be on the team, you will be allowed to.
(Whether you'll be competitive or earn a letter is another matter altogether.)
Where the kids in school may look at the QB of the football team as the school's resident badass, the reality is that the kid who earned a letter in wrestling, pound for pound, is probably the one more likely to put a hurt on you if things ever got violent.
As for conditioning, wrestling is hard to beat. It's a total body workout with an emphasis on strength per pound of body weight. A whole generation of modern exercise techniques (crossfit, P90X, etc.) are just pale imitations of the type of workout that wrestlers get on a daily basis.
I also think my boy would love it. The kid has loved to roughhouse since the day he was born. From the time he could toddle, all he ever wanted to do was wrestle. On the bed, on the floor, whatever. He just loves it.
So, I think this is a sport he could really enjoy. Basketball is still his first choice. Personally, I'll try to steer him towards swimming, because he'll spend a lot more time around girls in lycra rather than exclusively being around boys in lycra, but that's a small consideration.
I mentioned to him the other day that wrestling used to be a great way to get a college scholarship, but that Title IX ruined that. I said it matter-of-factly and off the cuff, as a simple statement of reality, the way I might say, "the sky is blue" or "my car has leather seats".
That did get me to thinking, though. Is there anything that can be done about this? Is this a fact that we need to accept?
Title IX did a lot of great things. In girl's sports, we're ahead of the entire rest of the world. Even in European countries like Germany, the opportunities for girls' soccer are considerably fewer than they are in the US.
In the days before Title IX, let's be frank, female athletes got hosed. My grandmother probably would have been an exceptional distance runner or baseball/softball player in her day. She never got the chance. Her youngest daughter, Marianne, who was in high school when I was a little boy, could only chose from a handful of club sports. It simply wasn't possible for a girl to get a varsity letter in 1970.
By the time her daughter, Erin, came along, she was earning letters in Softball, Basketball and Volleyball. (I think there might even have been a Track letter in there, somewhere.)
Perhaps more importantly, scholarship opportunities for women in college have expanded monumentally.
We've done well by our daughters.
The sad fact is that, unfortunately, there are now fewer scholarships available for men. So, we haven't done very well by our sons.
The first question should be, "is that a problem?"
I'll say that yes, it is. I have a personal belief that many of the things we've done to tilt the scales towards encouraging women have had the effect of making young men feel excluded.
Colleges are now nearly 60% female. It isn't just sports, but in every area, girls are told from the youngest ages that they've got opportunities in, say, science and engineering. There are outreach programs, special scholarships, etc.
You simply don't see that for young men. They're expected to find their own way in the world. Reasonable enough if you're talking about young adults, but we're talking about small children and the conditioning they're getting.
Second, there's a clear political agenda, here. Cheerleading requires just as much athleticism as, say, gymanstics. Yet, there are groups that are determined to make sure that it never gets classified as a sport. Why? Because then scholarships for cheerleading would detract from the number of scholarships required for other sports.
Still, the boys are doing pretty well, right? I mean, look at all those football, baseball and basketball scholarships out there.
Let's look at baseball as an example. Guess how many scholarships the top Division I teams get. I mean when you think of perennial powerhouses like University of Texas, they must have a few dozen scholarships to bring in all those talented players, right?
Nope. Not at all. The NCAA limits the number of full-ride scholarships to 11.7. The school can then divide these up into slices as small as a 1/4 ride.
Baseball is a money loser at every school. The facilities required are considerable. The ticket revenue is minimal or non-existant.
Men's Basketball pretty much breaks even, which is why basketball teams get 13 scholarships. Sometimes this boils down to pure economics.
Football? Football gets a whopping 85 scholarships. Football is the only sport that makes money and even then, only at the very largest of Division I schools. Most Div I schools lose money even on their football programs.
Now, if we considered only football, baseball and basketball, with their combined 109 scholarships, what is wrong with giving out 109 scholarships to women's sports?
The first is that women don't play football. For the life of me, I don't understand why colleges don't have women's football. It probably could draw spectators. If the games won't draw people on a stand-alone basis, have the games just prior to the men's games.
I honestly think the time has come for women's football at all levels. Maybe even a professional league. (Professional women's leagues are problematic and a subject that might be too broad for discussion here.)
The fact that men play football and women don't totally destroys the scholarship equation. The fact that football is basically the only college sport that makes money means that it won't be going away.
The second big problem is that even if a school offers 109 scholarships to women, that's not good enough.
The legalities are a bit intricate, but to comply with Title IX, there are 3 different criteria you can try to meet.
This criteria: "Full and effective accommodation of the interest and ability of underrepresented sex" is never, ever used because any woman in any college, at any time, could sue the school because she felt that they weren't fully and effectively accomodating her. Try disproving that one in court.
The next criteria, which is commonly used by schools is, "Demonstrate a continual expansion of athletic opportunities for the underrepresented sex". Generally, this means adding a women's team. Doing so keeps the courts off your ass for about 5 years, at which point you need to add another women's team or meet the third criteria:
"Providing athletic participation opportunities that are substantially proportionate to the student enrollment".
That's why 109 scholarships for women isn't enough. If you're giving 109 scholarships to men and your student body is 60% female, you need to give 20% more to women. Basically, to meet this test, you'd need to give out about 133 scholarships to women.
Which is why, for instance, there are only 13 basketball scholarships for men in division I, but there are 15 for women.
Which is why so many colleges and universities have either disbanded their men's wrestling team or have gutted the number of scholarships it gets.
Personally, I think the pendulum has swung way too far in the other direction. The odds of a boy getting an athletic scholarship to a Div I school is almost statistically impossible. However, frankly, the odds of a girl who joins a rowing team of getting a full-ride are astounding.
What? Rowing? Yes, rowing. This is an example of a distorted beast Title IX has created. There are currently about 1,700 male rowers in colleges across the country. So, there must be, what, maybe 1,700 women? Maybe 2,000 if we account for the fact that colleges are 60% female?
Nope... there are almost 7,000 female rowers in colleges across the country.
Nope, not a misprint. 1,700 male collegiate rowers. 7,000 females.
The NCAA allows 20 rowing scholarships. In most schools they almost all go to women.
How do they find 7,000 rowers given that nearly no High Schools have girls rowing teams?
A substantial number of women's collegiate rowers never touched an oar before they got a full-ride for it.
Lest you think I'm making this up, do your own google search and you'll find dozens of articles just like this one:
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/28/sports/othersports/28xrowing.html
As this article points out, the reason is obvious: in order to have a football team, they need to give scholarships to as many women as they can.
In the best of all worlds, talented women would get scholarships. Also, men's sports wouldn't be gutted.
Unfortunately, Title IX is turning out to be a little too good at its intended purpose of increasing girls sports participation relative to participation by boys. Trouble is, you can work that equation from both sides. You can increase girls participation (a good thing, IMHO), or you can decrease boy's participation (a bad thing, IMHO). Unfortunately, working both sides yields the fastest results.
I'm not sure what sort of tweak would bring things back in line. However, I fear things won't get better, anytime soon.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
The Very Worst of Youth Sports
When I think of the worst aspects of youth sports, more often than not, it's the conduct of parents and coaches that come to mind.
Usually, the kids are great. They compete hard. They want to do well.
Parents? Coaches? I think there are some basic lessons that both groups should be exposed to. I see a lot of attempts to codify parental conduct, but frankly, we could use a lot more.
These are my gripes and the things I would like to see changed in the approach to the game by both coaches and parents.
1. This is sports. Sports is, at its essence, just a game. The winner and loser, especially for youth sports, is completely immaterial. There is no reason for anybody to get angry. Really.
I remember talking to my son after a basketball tryout and I must have been getting a little too excited and emphatic. My son paused and said, "Dad, you sound like you're getting mad at me."
I told him that I am NEVER mad at him for anything about sports. I then explained that sometimes I get excited when I explain things that are sports related. Also, that coaches will use the same tone of voice. It doesn't (or at least shouldn't) ever mean that the adult is angry. I didn't play much sports when I was younger, but that's how I remember coaches talking to us, and I guess it just carried over.
The key there is to make sure that my son knows that it doesn't matter what happens on the field. I am never angry at my son because of anything related to a children's game. He needs to know that and I need to never forget it.
2. There's a difference between coaching and criticizing. All too often, I see both coaches and parents harping on what just happened, instead of focusing on what's coming up. For instance, "Hey, you didn't do X, Y or Z" isn't really helpful in my opinion. "Hey, let's make sure you do X, Y or Z" is a completely different spin.
One is focused in the past. You're just commenting on something that a person can't help, because it's over. The other is focused on the future and it can be done in an encouraging manner.
Criticism, in sports or life, has to be handled carefully so as not to discourage. Instead, focus on desired behaviors and draw people to them.
3. A coach who loses his temper more than about once a season loses his temper way too often. We would never accept a hothead at work. Somebody who blew their stack every day would find themselves either fired or despised by their co-workers.
However, all to often, I see coaches who are blowing their top every time I see them coach a game. What world do these people live in? Do they think, "Well, at work, I need to keep my emotions in check and behave professionally. However, now that I'm guiding these children, it's time for me to act a fool"?
We are talking about children, here. We may like to think that they're tough competitors or that playing the game is making them more mature, but seriously? These are children. Young ones.
We shouldn't act less circumspect around kids. Our behavior should be even more patient, more encouraging, more positive. If we wouldn't blow our top every day with adults, why would we do it with kids?
So, throwing clipboards, yelling at kids, jumping up and down, kicking things around? Really now? It has no place in youth sports. If you have that much difficulty controlling your temper, you not only shouldn't be coaching sports, but you might want to consider psychological help.
4. Parents? Your kids are doing the best they can. There is no room for a public dressing-down. Same principle, here: it's bad when done anywhere. If you are upset with your spouse, do you find a public place, in front of dozens of people, and start talking about why you're unhappy in a voice loud enough so everybody can hear?
At work, do you find a co-worker you have difficulty with, then publicly berate them?
Most people would never, ever do these things. Yet, I see all the time, parents who are upset at something their kid did or didn't do. Then, the parent is berating their own child in front of everyone.
Your child may remember these interactions for the rest of their lives. If you have to correct your child's athletic performance, unless you're coaching, do it privately, out of earshot of others, so as not to embarass them. Then, do it in as encouraging a manner as possible.
If you are coaching, address the issue like you would with anybody else. Speak directly, not emotionally, and not angrily.
When your kid is grown and moved out of the house, there is no way you'll look back on the day you yelled at them when they dropped a fly ball and feel good about yourself. If you're lucky, they won't remember it, but if they do, you might wish you had behaved differently.
5. The Umpires, Refs, etc., are not perfect. Get over it. I am genuinely embarassed by people who lose their cool and start yelling at the umps. That goes for both parents and coaches. Fortunately, at my son's age, the kids tend not to go nuts about this sort of thing. However, eventually, they're going to model the behavior they see.
Even when my son was playing coach-pitch, I used to tell him that bad calls by an umpire are a part of the game, just like your ball and your bat. If you can't deal with that, you just can't play.
I've never seen an umpire make a deliberately bad call. They're doing the best they can. I've also never seen one reverse a call because somebody yelled at them. We see the umps a lot through the course of a season. Enough that I know a few by name and most of them by sight. Some are great. Others less so. However, they're all human beings and they're there to do a job: to facilitate an experience that's supposed to be fun and character building for your kid. They don't deserve to be abused for it.
In the end, I enjoy having a kid who plays youth sports because I know that one day he'll hang up his cleats. On that day, he'll look back on all the games he played and will probably think of his playing days as some of the most fun he ever had. If he picks up some athletic skills along the way, all the better. If he learns a few lessons about life along the way: bonus.
Same for every other kid out there. I hope the conduct of all the parents and coaches reflects this reality. Sports is supposed to be fun. It can be serious, but it should always be fun.
Usually, the kids are great. They compete hard. They want to do well.
Parents? Coaches? I think there are some basic lessons that both groups should be exposed to. I see a lot of attempts to codify parental conduct, but frankly, we could use a lot more.
These are my gripes and the things I would like to see changed in the approach to the game by both coaches and parents.
1. This is sports. Sports is, at its essence, just a game. The winner and loser, especially for youth sports, is completely immaterial. There is no reason for anybody to get angry. Really.
I remember talking to my son after a basketball tryout and I must have been getting a little too excited and emphatic. My son paused and said, "Dad, you sound like you're getting mad at me."
I told him that I am NEVER mad at him for anything about sports. I then explained that sometimes I get excited when I explain things that are sports related. Also, that coaches will use the same tone of voice. It doesn't (or at least shouldn't) ever mean that the adult is angry. I didn't play much sports when I was younger, but that's how I remember coaches talking to us, and I guess it just carried over.
The key there is to make sure that my son knows that it doesn't matter what happens on the field. I am never angry at my son because of anything related to a children's game. He needs to know that and I need to never forget it.
2. There's a difference between coaching and criticizing. All too often, I see both coaches and parents harping on what just happened, instead of focusing on what's coming up. For instance, "Hey, you didn't do X, Y or Z" isn't really helpful in my opinion. "Hey, let's make sure you do X, Y or Z" is a completely different spin.
One is focused in the past. You're just commenting on something that a person can't help, because it's over. The other is focused on the future and it can be done in an encouraging manner.
Criticism, in sports or life, has to be handled carefully so as not to discourage. Instead, focus on desired behaviors and draw people to them.
3. A coach who loses his temper more than about once a season loses his temper way too often. We would never accept a hothead at work. Somebody who blew their stack every day would find themselves either fired or despised by their co-workers.
However, all to often, I see coaches who are blowing their top every time I see them coach a game. What world do these people live in? Do they think, "Well, at work, I need to keep my emotions in check and behave professionally. However, now that I'm guiding these children, it's time for me to act a fool"?
We are talking about children, here. We may like to think that they're tough competitors or that playing the game is making them more mature, but seriously? These are children. Young ones.
We shouldn't act less circumspect around kids. Our behavior should be even more patient, more encouraging, more positive. If we wouldn't blow our top every day with adults, why would we do it with kids?
So, throwing clipboards, yelling at kids, jumping up and down, kicking things around? Really now? It has no place in youth sports. If you have that much difficulty controlling your temper, you not only shouldn't be coaching sports, but you might want to consider psychological help.
4. Parents? Your kids are doing the best they can. There is no room for a public dressing-down. Same principle, here: it's bad when done anywhere. If you are upset with your spouse, do you find a public place, in front of dozens of people, and start talking about why you're unhappy in a voice loud enough so everybody can hear?
At work, do you find a co-worker you have difficulty with, then publicly berate them?
Most people would never, ever do these things. Yet, I see all the time, parents who are upset at something their kid did or didn't do. Then, the parent is berating their own child in front of everyone.
Your child may remember these interactions for the rest of their lives. If you have to correct your child's athletic performance, unless you're coaching, do it privately, out of earshot of others, so as not to embarass them. Then, do it in as encouraging a manner as possible.
If you are coaching, address the issue like you would with anybody else. Speak directly, not emotionally, and not angrily.
When your kid is grown and moved out of the house, there is no way you'll look back on the day you yelled at them when they dropped a fly ball and feel good about yourself. If you're lucky, they won't remember it, but if they do, you might wish you had behaved differently.
5. The Umpires, Refs, etc., are not perfect. Get over it. I am genuinely embarassed by people who lose their cool and start yelling at the umps. That goes for both parents and coaches. Fortunately, at my son's age, the kids tend not to go nuts about this sort of thing. However, eventually, they're going to model the behavior they see.
Even when my son was playing coach-pitch, I used to tell him that bad calls by an umpire are a part of the game, just like your ball and your bat. If you can't deal with that, you just can't play.
I've never seen an umpire make a deliberately bad call. They're doing the best they can. I've also never seen one reverse a call because somebody yelled at them. We see the umps a lot through the course of a season. Enough that I know a few by name and most of them by sight. Some are great. Others less so. However, they're all human beings and they're there to do a job: to facilitate an experience that's supposed to be fun and character building for your kid. They don't deserve to be abused for it.
In the end, I enjoy having a kid who plays youth sports because I know that one day he'll hang up his cleats. On that day, he'll look back on all the games he played and will probably think of his playing days as some of the most fun he ever had. If he picks up some athletic skills along the way, all the better. If he learns a few lessons about life along the way: bonus.
Same for every other kid out there. I hope the conduct of all the parents and coaches reflects this reality. Sports is supposed to be fun. It can be serious, but it should always be fun.
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